Living WITH Pain
I live with chronic pain. I have complained of pain in my joints since the age of 3. Hyper-mobility, Celiac Disease and IBS (all long undiagnosed) added to the trouble, but no one found them, so I learned to push through. I learned to struggle and fight pain, resist and withstand pain. But that is exhausting. And eventually it wore me out.
Then I started to learn to live WITH and ALONGSIDE pain, instead of fighting against it. I learned to use pain as a sort of ally, and when I had times with less pain, or even moments free from pain, I used those too. I don’t like the pain, and I have learned many techniques for managing it; but pain is a persistent teacher. I’m not yet pain-free. And that is OK. I rest. I work. I sometimes struggle. I’m sometimes bent double over my pillow, just breathing through and waiting for the hours to pass so I’ll feel better again. And I survive to see another day – which is glorious.
I write this because many people live in pain looking for its end, to solve it. And many people make massive amounts of money promoting the magic elixir/exercise/technique that will take it all away. And I’ve tried many of them over the years, some helped, some didn’t, nothing “cured” my pain, but I’ve learned a lot. And as the Dread Pirate Roberts in Princes Bride says, "Life is pain…. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” So I decided to stop waiting for the end of the rainbow, to stop waiting to be “fixed,” and instead to share how I live in pain, WITH pain, not liking it but not fighting it either, so my energy can be spent elsewhere. It’s been a challenging path, but it’s mine to walk, so I do. I continue to walk, or hobble, or go on crutches, or roll in a wheelchair, or even crawl if it were to come to that because this is my unique path, and I will travel it. I hope that some of the tips below may be of help to you too.
Heart Spirit Nutrition Path Tip: Managing Pain When Eating
Sit down when eating.
Take a few deep breaths. Allow yourself to feel your body or leave it alone as needed. I prefer not to focus on pain but change my focus to something like feeling the breath in and out of my nose so that my mind is focused elsewhere.
Then eat your meal:
Chew well - really well. As you chew it supports the production of digestive enzymes to help digest and absorb the nutrients of that meal.
Hydrate (preferably water) as needed.
Eat at a moderate pace, for most people that means a full Plate Method meal (1/4 protein foods, 1/4 starch/carbs, 1/2 non-starchy veggies) may take 20 to 30 minutes, a mini meal that’s half the size may take 10-15 minutes. *NOTE some people, especially with medical conditions including but not limited to Chron’s, Colitis, resection, bypass, etc may need a modified fiber diet - for which it’s critical to work with your own Registered Dietitian to guide you!
Then sit for 5-10 minutes after the meal enjoying the peace, calm, and focusing on gratitude for the meal you had, and that you do eat and drink.
And after a meal, if you have digestive discomfort or pain, PLEASE work with your doctor, a gastroenterologist, and hopefully a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist who focuses on GI health. Because the reality is that pain after eating has many, many potential causes, and often isn’t related to the food you just ate, but that from the previous meal, or a day before or even 2 days before, or not at all! This has to do with digestion and all the nerves intermixed and intestines overlapping. My pain is currently believed to be from Visceral Sensitivity related to IBS (my celiac disease is well managed and not a problem at all now), and that doesn’t make my pain any less real or important than for another diagnosis.
When I do notice the discomfort or pain, I identify if it’s hot, cold, stabbing, intense, calm, waves, etc, and then I let it go. I work to focus on something else, because even though it’s usually there - and persistent - unlike a toddler, it’s OK to not give it my full attention, knowing that with my medical care it’s managed. It is OK. And I am OK.
To be clear, pain needs medical care and management, it should never be ignored. And if you don’t feel you’re getting the care you need please seek out a second, fifth, tenth opinion until you feel heard, seen, cared for, and part of the medical care decision process. But if you and your team are doing everything you can, then it may be time to see if it’s OK for you to live WITH pain as well. To see if by stepping away from fighting pain, acknowledge it, and not focus on it, see if you find freedom from the daily struggle, and begin to feel invested in living again.
So I conclude with saying Thank You to the pain I experience, because it’s one part of my whole, beautiful life path.
Erix
Image from UpSplash by Jack Skinner @jack_skinner
